Challenger School

Beauty in Breastfeeding – Baby A and Her Beautiful Mother

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Share Your Story in the Beauty in Breastfeeding Project.

Each Monday, we’re sharing stories of the personal breastfeeding journeys of mothers throughout the State of Utah in cooperation with the Beauty in Breastfeeding Project.  Read our earlier article to find out more about this initiative that celebrates breastfeeding mothers. To share your own story, visit www.beautyinbreastfeedingproject.com.

I had a breast reduction and lift when I was 18. I knew at that time that breast feeding any children I might have was very important to me, and I shared this with my surgeon. She assured me that breast feeding after a reduction was no big deal, and that I would have a fine time doing so if I didn’t go too small.

Fast forward 4 years later, and my daughter was born. She was born at home, and like most newborns she nursed non-stop for the first two days. We went to our two day check up at the birth center, and she had lost 7% of her weight, normal, but anymore and it could be worrisome.

The next few days were terrible. She would not unlatch from me all day, and at night wouldn’t latch on when she was hungry. We called my midwife, and my husband did his best to assist with latching. Nothing worked. When we went back in, she had lost too much weight. I was so devastated, so angry, and felt so guilty that I had not been making enough food for my baby. I spent hours with my midwife, crying, learning how to use an SNS.

Breast feeding will always be a sore subject for me, but I hope this gives other women insight to what it is like to breast feed after a reduction or major breast surgery. I hope those women know that breast feeding can be so much more than feeding, and those things are just as important and beautiful.

We were incredibly blessed to have a family member who had recently had a baby as well, and she was happy to donate some of her breast milk. We used the SNS and donor milk for three months. I took placenta pills, fenugreek, blessed thistle, fennel oil, mothers milk tinctures, brewers yeast, oatmeal, massage, hot pads, literally everything I did was to increase my supply. I spent these first three months at home, rarely leaving, rarely moving. I only breast fed, and when I wasn’t doing that I was pumping less than an ounce from each breast. Doing everything I could to provide the best nutrition for my daughter.

Unfortunately none of these things increased my supply. Most of the herbs made me sick, and my supply would range from 0% to 50%, depending on the day. I was so depressed over not being about to exclusively breast feed. I was so angry that I didn’t know how difficult BFAR truly was, and so bitter that I had been deceived. I found a group on social media for women like me, and that helped some. My daughter hated the SNS, she hated bottles. Each feeding was devastating and frustrating. I often wondered if I was doing her any good by trying to breast feed her.

Eventually I got to the point where I knew I had to let the dream and desire to EBF go. I continued to comfort nurse on demand for over 8 months. When I chose to quit nursing all together, it was because my baby girl was clearly getting frustrated with not getting milk from me, and I knew it was best for us both to move on. Breast feeding for me looked nothing like I thought it would. Breast feeding for us was about comfort, bond, and love. Rarely was it about nutrition, or food. It was rough, and more emotional than I ever imagined. I did my best, and I know now that it was good enough.

Breast feeding will always be a sore subject for me, but I hope this gives other women insight to what it is like to breast feed after a reduction or major breast surgery. I hope those women know that breast feeding can be so much more than feeding, and those things are just as important and beautiful.

Want to share your story? Send your email address and we’ll be in contact.

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